Monthly Archives

November 2019

    You don’t have to face it alone.

    If you are afraid to face your past because you’ve learned that you have to face pain alone, let go of that expectation and know that the Lord will not leave you in your pain. He is the God of all comfort and wants your whole heart, brokenness and all. He will heal those broken places that you’ve been running from, if you can change your perspective and see him as a loving Father who will not leave you, drop you, reject you, or abandon you.  

    In the story of Lazarus, as those around him were mourning, Jesus cries out in frustration. When He is taken to the tomb, he asks them to remove the stone covering the entrance and Martha argues with him, afraid of the horrific odor that would surely be unleashed should they open the door. Just don’t! Don’t open it up, it’s too painful, too ugly, and it smells! Let us grieve!

    I just LOVE the response of Jesus here. He says to Martha; “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

    Welp. He had already told her that Lazarus would live again. She chose to hear it through the filter of her pain, not through faith. 

    God says to you, open up those dark, painful, hidden places. The ones that smell and might be just a little bit (ok a lot) raw. He says, “trust me with this pain, don’t you remember I’ve already told you how this turns out?” He is the resurrection and the life. He has spoken the beginning and the end. He will walk with you through the process of healing, and you can rest in the truth that His Word -every promise He has made and word He has spoken- endures through all generations. 

    Matthew 11:29

    Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

    Psalm 18:35

    You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.

    November 1, 2019

    When Anger Rules, Bondage Prevails

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    I can’t require my child to deal with the issues in their life without showing them that I’m in the trenches doing the same. 

    I can’t expect them to battle generational iniquities, learn repentance and forgiveness if I’m not showing them that I’m 100% in the same battle with them.

    Until they see us owning our own struggles, walking in vulnerability and making things right with them, they will stay locked up in those very things that we battle with! Do you see your child struggling with a sinful pattern? Then pay attention to what YOU are walking in. Because I can tell my son all the livelong day to control his anger, count to 10, pray, repent and all the other things, but if I am not repenting of anger and asking my son to forgive me for setting that example for him, then he can’t be fully released from that stronghold. I opened the door by being angry. I set the example. Why am I surprised when my son is angry?? 

    This isn’t an easy thing to write about, but it’s powerful and necessary for us as parents to walk in. 

    We have been dealing with some issues with my oldest son for a while now. He is a really wonderful kid, but there are times when he really loses control of himself and lets anger rule. I have struggled with this very thing in the past and have gained a lot of victory, but the damage was done when the kids were younger. I opened the door and now I must gently lead my own children out of it. Do they make the choice? Yes, they do. But as young children, we are the shepherds of their hearts. To wound them with angry outbursts or responses at a young age causes deep wounds that they don’t even understand. 

    I have spoken with my boys before about this and repented to them when I lose my cool. But restoration is a process, and my sons behavior was telling me that there was still work to be done. There are some unmet emotional needs that need to be addressed, but I also knew my part was still undone. This morning on the way to school we talked about an incident that had happened the night before. I told them that I knew I hadn’t always set a good example of handling angry feelings well and I am still working on it. I asked their forgiveness for not setting a good example for them in this area. I’ll be honest, I have been so discouraged. The feelings of failure when I see the worst in me surface in him threatened to overwhelm me. Then this afternoon, I happened to open his notebook from school (first time I have looked at it), and at the top of the page it says, “Prayer requests” and his two prayer requests were: “Big Buck Down” and “Help with my anger.” Well I cried, y’all. A lot. 

    Do you know that forgiveness unlocks things that had been previously impossible to open up?? He was locked up and I had no idea how to get through. All I knew was to keep pressing in and let him know that I’m struggling too, but I’m taking responsibility for my part. Do you see how that opened him up to be able to recognize his need for help? 

    What if I had stood over him scowling and shaking my finger, demanding that he “shape up or ship out”? I doubt I would have seen such a victory. Do we allow bad behavior to go unchecked?? I assure you NO. But we want to get to the root of the behavior, that’s where healing needs to take place. Making things right with our children shows them how much we value them and washes them in Truth.  Seeing them walking in wholeness is what I’m chasing after. Anyone with me?

    November 1, 2019