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    When Anger Rules, Bondage Prevails

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    I can’t require my child to deal with the issues in their life without showing them that I’m in the trenches doing the same. 

    I can’t expect them to battle generational iniquities, learn repentance and forgiveness if I’m not showing them that I’m 100% in the same battle with them.

    Until they see us owning our own struggles, walking in vulnerability and making things right with them, they will stay locked up in those very things that we battle with! Do you see your child struggling with a sinful pattern? Then pay attention to what YOU are walking in. Because I can tell my son all the livelong day to control his anger, count to 10, pray, repent and all the other things, but if I am not repenting of anger and asking my son to forgive me for setting that example for him, then he can’t be fully released from that stronghold. I opened the door by being angry. I set the example. Why am I surprised when my son is angry?? 

    This isn’t an easy thing to write about, but it’s powerful and necessary for us as parents to walk in. 

    We have been dealing with some issues with my oldest son for a while now. He is a really wonderful kid, but there are times when he really loses control of himself and lets anger rule. I have struggled with this very thing in the past and have gained a lot of victory, but the damage was done when the kids were younger. I opened the door and now I must gently lead my own children out of it. Do they make the choice? Yes, they do. But as young children, we are the shepherds of their hearts. To wound them with angry outbursts or responses at a young age causes deep wounds that they don’t even understand. 

    I have spoken with my boys before about this and repented to them when I lose my cool. But restoration is a process, and my sons behavior was telling me that there was still work to be done. There are some unmet emotional needs that need to be addressed, but I also knew my part was still undone. This morning on the way to school we talked about an incident that had happened the night before. I told them that I knew I hadn’t always set a good example of handling angry feelings well and I am still working on it. I asked their forgiveness for not setting a good example for them in this area. I’ll be honest, I have been so discouraged. The feelings of failure when I see the worst in me surface in him threatened to overwhelm me. Then this afternoon, I happened to open his notebook from school (first time I have looked at it), and at the top of the page it says, “Prayer requests” and his two prayer requests were: “Big Buck Down” and “Help with my anger.” Well I cried, y’all. A lot. 

    Do you know that forgiveness unlocks things that had been previously impossible to open up?? He was locked up and I had no idea how to get through. All I knew was to keep pressing in and let him know that I’m struggling too, but I’m taking responsibility for my part. Do you see how that opened him up to be able to recognize his need for help? 

    What if I had stood over him scowling and shaking my finger, demanding that he “shape up or ship out”? I doubt I would have seen such a victory. Do we allow bad behavior to go unchecked?? I assure you NO. But we want to get to the root of the behavior, that’s where healing needs to take place. Making things right with our children shows them how much we value them and washes them in Truth.  Seeing them walking in wholeness is what I’m chasing after. Anyone with me?

    November 1, 2019

    Roasted Veggie Curry Soup

    Posted in Home, Recipes by

    Well, this is my first-ever blogged recipe and I must admit I really want to ramble on and on about how I came up with it, how wonderful it is, and how it's going to change the course of my life.

    Bottom line, I needed a low protein, veggie soup, with minimal animal protein. I was craving a warm earthy flavor, and somehow managed to pull it off. Mind you, I keep things pretty simple in the kitchen, so I'm pretty proud of this simple but lovely creation.

    Warning, I loved it, family didn't. I've been minimal sugar for weeks now, they haven't. Do what you will with that info. My recipe makes enough to feed my big family!

    But great news! I'm done rambling. 😉 Here it is! Drop me a comment if you try it!

    Roasted Veggie Curry Soup

    Yields: 4 quarts

    1 cup: 16g total carbs, 4g fiber, 11g fat, 4g protein, 179 calories


    (all of my ingredients were organic)

    • Cauliflower: 1 1/2lb, coarsely chopped
    • Sweet potatoes (unpeeled, diced): 1 1/5lb or 19oz
    • Peppers: 1 yellow, 1 red, diced
    • Garlic: 6-8 cloves, coarsely chopped
    • Olive oil: 2tbsp
    • Kerrygold salted butter: 2tbsp
    • Sweet onion: 6 1/2oz coarsely chopped
    • Organic vegetable broth: 32oz
    • Garbanzo beans (not drained): 15 1/5oz
    • Organic coconut milk unsweetened: 27oz
    • Diced canned tomatoes: 10oz
    • Turmeric: 3/4tsp (or to taste)
    • Curry powder: 3/4tsp (or to taste)
    • Smoked paprika: 3/4tsp (or to taste)
    • Pumpkin seeds to garnish: 1/8 cup or as desired


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    Preheat oven to 375.

    Toss cauliflower and sweet potatoes in the olive oil. Spread in a shallow pan and roast until cauli edges start to brown and sweet potatoes are almost soft.

    While they are roasting, sauté peppers, onions and garlic in the butter. Start with onions first, cook a few mins, then add peppers, then garlic towards the end. Do not cook until soft.

    In an 8qt or larger stock pot, add broth, garbanzo beans, canned tomatoes, spices, and all the veggies.

    Let this slowly simmer until all veggies are soft. Using an immersion blender, thoroughly blend everything together. This will have a lot of texture from the potato skins, so if you wish you can peel them first.

    Garnish with pumpkin seeds.

    Enjoy my unprofessional photos in horrific lighting and dirty stovetop.

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    Processed with VSCO with a6 preset
    Processed with VSCO with a6 preset
    February 12, 2019

    Fueling the body = Fueling the spirit

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    I made theeee most delish soup today, and it had zero sugar, sugar subs and zero dairy. It was amazing and had only FOOD in it. REAL FOOD. 

    As I continue to make changes in what I physically eat, I am seeing so many parallels to my spiritual diet. 

    I thought that I could take the easy way out of losing weight and getting control over my relationship with food, but it turns out it didn’t solve the heart issues that were at the root. I still lacked discipline, self control, and ability to hold MYSELF accountable for how I was treating my body. Because I wasn’t taking ownership of what my diet consisted of, I continued to falter. Additionally, what I sought after proved to be a manufactured substitute of the REAL FOOD that my body really needed. 

    Isn’t that the way it is with our spiritual walk though? We want the easy drive-through Christianity. The kind that doesn’t hold us accountable for our actions and choices, and just gives us the step-by-step way to go through the motions and not require any work on our part. 

    I have continued to cut out processed sugar and most sugar substitutes. What I have found is that the more subs I eat, the more I want sugar. The more I remove it altogether, the less I want it. Did I eat cake when I made it for my husband’s birthday? Yes. And I found that I still have a long way to go when it comes to self control. Because ya’ll, that stuff was LEGIT. I’m not saying I’ll never have sweets again. What I do need is to be able to not eat the sweets because I had a hard day, week or year. This is quite a process.

    The same can be said for an empty walk with God. Learning to depend on cheap substitutes to fill the voids that only He can will leave you empty and never satisfied. (HELLO SOCIAL MEDIA)

    If you’re rolling your eyes at this, go ahead, but please read it. Yes, this is something I’m talking about more now. Not sorry. I am not some self righteous organic hippie guru. I really love food so much. Pizza, wings, bread, cake, cheese danish, Chick-Fil-A fries (lawd Jesus). But I am literally telling you the honest truth, that my taste buds have changed DRASTICALLY in the past month. I found myself craving fresh vegetables today, after having grown up on canned veggies and feeding my family canned veggies. That feels like a big victory for me. Maybe it’s not for you, but I’ll celebrate yours if you’ll celebrate mine. 😉 

    I have found that removing the dependency on food has left an interesting gap in my life and heart. It has brought a lot of things I’ve been choosing not to face to the surface. I find that it takes a considerable amount of energy right now just to plan, prepare and schedule when it comes to food. When you’ve done things a certain way for almost 40 years, well change is hard. Maybe you can identify with that.

    As expected, fueling myself properly is a lot of work. As expected, fueling my Spirit properly is a lot of work. I can’t run away from either, because I need both to survive. I need both to be healthy. Our bodies are created to function best when they are given real fuel as God intended. He created foods for us to consume, and we shouldn’t be scared of them! If we are using them properly, and not as a crutch or a coping mechanism (ahem, Crystal) We should give as much care in fueling our physical bodies well as we do with fueling our spiritual lives. 

    If you’ve made it this far, I want to say thank you for listening and letting me pour out my heart. 

    February 3, 2019