February 2019

I made theeee most delish soup today, and it had zero sugar, sugar subs and zero dairy. It was amazing and had only FOOD in it. REAL FOOD. 

As I continue to make changes in what I physically eat, I am seeing so many parallels to my spiritual diet. 

I thought that I could take the easy way out of losing weight and getting control over my relationship with food, but it turns out it didn’t solve the heart issues that were at the root. I still lacked discipline, self control, and ability to hold MYSELF accountable for how I was treating my body. Because I wasn’t taking ownership of what my diet consisted of, I continued to falter. Additionally, what I sought after proved to be a manufactured substitute of the REAL FOOD that my body really needed. 

Isn’t that the way it is with our spiritual walk though? We want the easy drive-through Christianity. The kind that doesn’t hold us accountable for our actions and choices, and just gives us the step-by-step way to go through the motions and not require any work on our part. 

I have continued to cut out processed sugar and most sugar substitutes. What I have found is that the more subs I eat, the more I want sugar. The more I remove it altogether, the less I want it. Did I eat cake when I made it for my husband’s birthday? Yes. And I found that I still have a long way to go when it comes to self control. Because ya’ll, that stuff was LEGIT. I’m not saying I’ll never have sweets again. What I do need is to be able to not eat the sweets because I had a hard day, week or year. This is quite a process.

The same can be said for an empty walk with God. Learning to depend on cheap substitutes to fill the voids that only He can will leave you empty and never satisfied. (HELLO SOCIAL MEDIA)

If you’re rolling your eyes at this, go ahead, but please read it. Yes, this is something I’m talking about more now. Not sorry. I am not some self righteous organic hippie guru. I really love food so much. Pizza, wings, bread, cake, cheese danish, Chick-Fil-A fries (lawd Jesus). But I am literally telling you the honest truth, that my taste buds have changed DRASTICALLY in the past month. I found myself craving fresh vegetables today, after having grown up on canned veggies and feeding my family canned veggies. That feels like a big victory for me. Maybe it’s not for you, but I’ll celebrate yours if you’ll celebrate mine. 😉 

I have found that removing the dependency on food has left an interesting gap in my life and heart. It has brought a lot of things I’ve been choosing not to face to the surface. I find that it takes a considerable amount of energy right now just to plan, prepare and schedule when it comes to food. When you’ve done things a certain way for almost 40 years, well change is hard. Maybe you can identify with that.

As expected, fueling myself properly is a lot of work. As expected, fueling my Spirit properly is a lot of work. I can’t run away from either, because I need both to survive. I need both to be healthy. Our bodies are created to function best when they are given real fuel as God intended. He created foods for us to consume, and we shouldn’t be scared of them! If we are using them properly, and not as a crutch or a coping mechanism (ahem, Crystal) We should give as much care in fueling our physical bodies well as we do with fueling our spiritual lives. 

If you’ve made it this far, I want to say thank you for listening and letting me pour out my heart.